by Steve Finefrock - [scriptwriter]
MEMO TO DAVID E. KELLEY: There be some juicy story lines brewing in the braying, prancing, pretension-rich Congress this week, as Big Three auto execs arrive to testify before the pretenders-to-honesty which comprise our political ass, er, class, in the national capitol. Once it was tobacco executives given the third-degree, more recently oil executives summoned to be raked over the morality-coals of Congress, and now CEOs of auto companies, arriving in Gulfstream-4 executive jets. It positively enraged Whoopi, whose neighborhood in entertainment drips with G-4s and G-3s and Boeing Executive jets. Variety’s periodic “V-Life” lifestyle issue treated that subject once, delineating who the ‘jet rich’ were inside the royal realm of Hollywood.
The most hypocritical crowd on the planet Earth are the lying, scheming weasels on the floor of the House and Senate who tamper with the Constitution daily. “Each House shall keep a Journal of its Proceedings” states the clear language of Article I, section 5, clause 3, “and from time to time publish the same, excepting such Parts as may in their Judgment require Secrecy.” Hmmmm, did ya ever hear of the unanimous consent requested frequently, regularly, and without failure to achieve approval for a Member to exercise his/her right to “revise and extend my remarks”?
Recently, a Senator excoriated a reporter’s story of his speech on the Senate floor, calling him a liar for printing a quote which contradicted the ‘record’ presented, with great and satisfying authority, to the reporter. The retort? A copy of the C-SPAN videotape, showing the sleazy weasel uttering exactly as the story reported. The Senator had exercised his right, by unanimous consent of other Senators, to ‘revise and extend’ his remarks after the close of business.
Every day, in every way imaginable, our moral leaders alter the record, with consent of all present and voting – it cannot be done otherwise, this tampering with the records – to commit written perjury. To alter the record to read different than what really occurred.
Yet these weasels stand tall, ego riding high, even while seated, to dress down CEO’s who exercise some privilege to go with their authority! Imagine if a CEO gave questionable testimony – wait, that is what the Congress accused tobacco executives of doing. Even as they were allowing their fellows on the floor to ‘revise and extend’ the record, by staffers contacting the clerks to excise this, add that, to the official ‘transcript’ of our nation’s leaders in action. Nixon wasn’t the master of lying – it’s Congress, every day, in every way, all with unanimous consent, of course.
Somewhere there’s a David E. Kelley ‘case’ that could go on trial on “Boston Legal”: with every other imaginable theme taken to court, for a judge and jury to adjudicate, this might be juicy. Ask a judge to issue an order to the Article I branch of government – Congress positively pees its pants in pride that it is the first-branch of government, per the first Article outlining its powers, those being also the powers of the national government generally – to correct the record, by judicial intervention, to reflect what was actually said at the time it was said on the House or Senate floor.
Kelley is clever, if usually on the left side of the clever-braincells. From “Picket Fences” thru “The Practice” and “Ally McBeal” and now into “Boston Legal” he brings the most bizarre cases to supposed trial. Once a child plaintiff sued God. You’d think the legislature didn’t exist – well, that is what judges like to think, or behave as though they hoped it would not pass laws that restrict the judges from their own power-driven ‘interpretation’ – in Kelley’s story lines. He seems to disdain, even dismiss, the legislative branch in Massachusetts justice.
So, a little Constitutional confrontation, worthy of a SCOTUS [Supreme Court of the United States – Secret Service terminology] appeal, maybe a four or five episode story line, as the Crane, Poole and Schmidt team force Congress to earn the right to insult wealth-creating private-sector ego-meisters by first cleaning their own house of two legislative chambers. Kelley could clean their clock, dramatically and comedically, showing how much lying is going on in the ‘official record’ of that Journal of each House. Asking SCOTUS to invade congressional territorial waters and make ‘em obey the Constitution.
Note the proper nouns in that cited Constitutional language: House, Journal, Proceedings, Judgment, Secrecy, Members. All capitalized, by the original Framers, whose original intent – oh, maybe Kelley won’t find that an appealing concept – was for something approaching honesty and transparency. Ya know, the same thing tobacco executives and auto CEO’s are supposed to achieve before the esteemed Members of each chamber!
While the CEOs exercised stoopid judgment – sic on the spelling – it is hilarious to the tenth power to see Members pontificating with Moral Indignation in view of their privileges and manipulations.
Of both parties.
Of all segments on the political spectrum.
Take note as more are brought to the bashing sessions, especially as the Grinning Liberals take even harsher positions after the new swearing in of their larger majority, and their Messiah as well. Each time any of them – including Obama The One [OTO] – strut and preen, remember they are accessories to lying and stealing [the truth] every single legislative day. Either they are each ‘revising and extending’ their remarks, or are consenting to the unanimous consent required for another Member or Senator to do so. With arrogant insistence that the record is accurate enough to upbraid a reporter for reporting what he heard with his own ears, and which C-SPAN recorded with its own electrons.
OTO chatted in an interview before declaring for the presidency, promoting his latest book, that the whole legislative process was a bit bizarre, with Senators speaking as if the chamber were full of eager listening ears. The Senate long left that world of actual ‘debate’ that means something. Maybe he might have voted something other than ‘present’ by demanding the Senate record be accurate, thorough, and complete.
But then the man who’s yet to reveal his tax return, birth certificate, college transcript and thesis isn’t one to demand honesty and openness of anyone. That he’s passed thru the Senate en route to the Oval office without once noticing this bit of manipulation tells us much. Now, as POTUS [President of the United States] he might offer a suggestion. But that would require moxie, courage, moral fortitude and a willingness to stand for something.
As a supposed constitutional lecturer in law classes, you’d think OTO would have noticed this little error. But then, who would challenge a generations-old practice? And who wants to admit that while they rake others over the coals of moral malfeasance, they are regularly and with chutzpah violating the morals clause of the Constitution.
No, capitalize that descriptive word, so to make that Chutzpah – a proper noun that makes clear why Congress is so highly thought by the public to be so low and beneath contempt.
Congress, HEAL THYSELF before thouest hound CEOs of any stripe, in any jet plane. And David E. Kelley, take on this issue sometime this season. Maybe sue OTO in an episode, and his Attorney General [AGOTUS], to appear before SCOTUS to force COTUS to obey its own Article I.
That would be Entertainment. And embarrassing to our leaders, maybe on par with the embarrassment they try to bring to private sector leaders. It would be far less bizarre than suing God.
Unless GOD is spelled O-T-O. ExileStreet
copyright 2008 Steve Finefrock
Finefrock is founder of Hollywood Forum, a speaker-bureau and panel-discussion vehicle to “Bring the Potomac to the Palisades” on issues that overlap politics and culture with the Hollywood film-TV influence on such national concerns. His scripts have addressed politics [including a TV series pilot/bible package about state political combat, called "A State of the Union"], hazardous materials [from twelve years in emergency management, including six years managing FEMA's Superfund curriculum for hazmat], terrorism, equestrian reincarnation, serial murderer killing journalists in the nation’s capitol, and fantasy about time-wasters. Finefrock is proprietor of PhoneBooth: The Smallest Space in Hollywood…