If I Were A Rich Donor: Mother’s Milk For ModCons

finefrockaby Steve Finefrock, founder Hollywood Conservative Forum

Money is the mother’s milk of politics, proclaimed an infamous democrat speaker of the California legislature [to be unnamed: no promotion of lefties in this space]. Of course, you need a healthy calf to slurp that milk and thereby mature into a productive bull or heifer. And we have ‘em aplenty – feisty, fiery, fabulous spokesmen and women galore, ready with experience and judgment and the skills, to ‘Sully’ forth and advance a Modern Conservative Renaissance.

Renaissance Men and Women, by the bucketload. Who can utilize some mother’s milk to grow their message to the eager, thirsty public.

IF I WERE A WEALTHY MAN, worth a few hundred million smackers, eager to smack the left with new battalions of exceptional voices to advance the cause, here’s where I’d commit a fraction of my multi-millionaire’s money, put it where their mouths are:

DANA PERINO, a voice of style and a presence of class, and now publicly exhibiting some growing sass and brass as her term is ending for Bush’s media shop. A brainy beauty with chutzpah who would make a great goyim gal as traveling tag-team partner with…

ARI FLEISCHER, also once with Dubya’s media shop, already on the political hustings, displaying a grasp of the issues and a boldness that is subtle enough that he can’t be branded ‘insensitive’ and ‘mean’ – put him alongside Dana and issue a platinum card to cover their air fare, hotel and ground transport costs, then set them loose to challenge the world of Obama The One [OTO] as the world wonders, Where are the conservatives?

Take conservative thought to the meandering masses, bring those ideas so finely honed by the Heritage Foundation, American Enterprise Institute, Americans For Progress and Cato Institute – and make them mentally accessible to The Folks. Them’s da folks that vote, if they have the energized mind to go to the polls, with a clear, instinctive understanding of why conservatism’s classic, timeless themes are superior guides to decide How America Will Work.

If I were a rich donor, with more than my eager intellectual capital, anxious about the coming flood of capitolism by OTO’s legions, I’d give another platinum card, good for at least two years of funding up to a million dollars per year, to another tag-team, to advance the economic agenda of conservatism, as advocates of capitalism:

P.J. O’ROURKE as a politico-humorist extraordinaire who grasps economic theory well enough to publish two worthy, and mildly funny, books on political-economy. Tag-team him with DENNIS MILLER, who has a good mind and roaring humor, and you have an economics-101 humoristic duo who would break the ice of supposedly cold conservatism, and slice and dice the left’s id-driven idiocies. They could help ‘explain’ while also entertainingly informing to the public, why centralizing power in the nation’s capitol is vastly inferior to the decentralized nature of free-market capitalism.

Just these four alone would give seriousness, sexiness, good-looks, good thinking to the stagecraft-wise presentation of our ideas, who know-the-game, grasp the issues and the technique. Who aren’t just all-hat-no-cattle, but got hat and cattle, style and substance, understand form and function. But there are so many more voices, needing entry to the Platinum team.

To give intellectual heft, and their own sensible sense o’ humor would be two black conservative economists, THOMAS SOWELL and his elder brainfather, WALTER WILLIAMS. Another million-dollar-per-year platinum card issued to that pair, to tag-team the taglines of the left with a political coroner’s toe-tag, to deconstruct their socialist hopes to deconstruct capitalism on behalf of capitolism. Give the public a grasp of why Milton Friedman spoke a great truth in saying, “A society that puts equality before freedom will get neither. A society that puts freedom before equality will get a high degree of both.”

To argue the cultural issues, a trio of defenders of traditional values – already in the public broadcast ear – would get a platinum card to supercharge their already effective radio-host roles: DENNIS PRAGER with his fellow Jewish radio-chum MICHAEL MEDVED and their evangelical Christian partner-in-conservatism, HUGH HEWITT. These three are religious experts, knowledgeable of the political arts, and bring two more Jewish conservatives, alongside Ari Fleischer, to the public arena of advancing Modern Conservatism.

Another trio to share their own platinum bucks would bring the hot-babe-with-brains element to conservative audacious advocacy: MONICA CROWLEY, the ‘good’ Monica, with academic cred aplenty [she’s Dr. Monica], with LAURA INGRAHAM and MARGARET HOOVER to complete the trifecta tellers of our message. Let the left flinch at three babes laying the groundwork for our own Sarah Conner-Palin, perhaps tracking behind their pathfinder roles. [So many babes with brains – down, boy, down!]

Intellectual political giants already in the game could use some ModCon Platinum Bucks: KARL ROVE, plus CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER, along with WILLIAM KRISTOL. Traveling when possible, together for the synergy of their ideas [depending on Krauthammer’s health issues], or using video conferencing when available, would bring this Platinum Trio to audiences eager to learn the alternatives to OTO’s atrocious capitolism. Add a younger foreign-policy voice in JOEL MOWBRAY, perhaps pairing with the older FRANK GAFFNEY, and there’s another pair of advocates, advocating on a platform of platinum.

Other names could be mixed and matched, depending on availability, to join the fray, such as the intellectual brilliance of AMITY SHLAES, on economic matters and taxes, plus a revision of the history of the New Deal in particular. Amity could join the comedy duo of Miller&O’Rourke, or the more serious mien of Sowell&Williams. Maybe become the fourth brainy babe with the sexy trio. Consider an old face, with some renewed expressions of our classic ideas, in NEWT GINGRICH, also a ‘free safety’ for various bookings. There’s also MARY KATHARINE HAMM, a blog-specialist who tracks the new-media methods which OTO has mastered – and which we must best, if our better ideas can best OTO’s schemes and dreams [or, nightmares].

More ‘seasoned’ comic conservatives include BURT PRELUTSKY, who could team with his chum and fellow turned-right Jewish conservative: HARRY STEIN, who penned “How I Accidentally Joined the Vast Rightwing Conspiracy” and brings a wealth of contacts of his own to the Platinum Club. Someday, with luck, they may tag-team at the Heritage Foundation, bringing more ‘cred’ to the movement of creative conservatives in Hollywood.

That is, if I were a rich man, eager to finance a Modern Conservative Renaissance, put a fresh face and brilliant minds onto the presentation of proven verities of conservative thought. To fight OTO’s desire to continue hoarding power in the nation’s capitol, with the punch of our intellectual capital-rich spokesmen and women.

The Cause is not dead, or even moribund; not even sleeping – the ideas are still valid, the voices above quite fresh, and the public reflects essentially the same mix of conservative-moderate-liberal beliefs as in the prior six years of attitude surveys. We just gotta refresh, repackage, resell and re-brand our message – with fresh modcons. The bench is full of voices and presentable personas; which of them might become a political ‘player’ – on a ballot – is uncertain. Once such a member of this Platinum Players Club so decides to file for elective office, the player would have to be replaced.

For the platinum card cannot fund a candidacy – only advocacy of IDEAS [due to CFR – campaign finance reform – and thanks for that, John McCain]. And we have good ideas, classic concepts, which are as valid today as when they were first uttered by our forebears. We must be forebearish on saving America, and bearish on OTO’s legions of liberal capitolists.

That’s what I would do for modern conservatism, if I were a rich man – a political Tevye, building not that trio of showy staircases, but a bridge to somewhere, a transition to a modern conservative era that is just a wishin’ and a waitin’ for GOOD SPEAKERS to give the good speeches and panel discussions, all across the fruited plain. To debunk the fruity, nutty, flaky ideas of the San Francisco Democrats – the place where OTO conversed so quietly, so confidentially, to his erstwhile mother’s milk donors, about those silly folks who cling to guns and religion.

Is there someone who is a rich man, or woman, to issue platinum cards to this Platinum Player set of energetic, expressive, classy, credentialed ModCons? Five hot-babes with brains, two conservative blacks with brains, three Jewish conservative brainiacs, two comic conservatives with cred by the bucketload, plus three excellent voices on religious and cultural issues. Send ‘em all across America, to every venue where thirsty conservatives await some colorful, competent expression of our classic ideas. Put some platinum in the game, my conservative Tevyes – as these modcons put their intellectual skin in the same game, and we can encourage, indeed ‘empower’ a resurgent Renaissance, of the genuine Party of Ideas.

Add ‘em all together, and you get perhaps a fraction of the brilliance of communication we learned, and took for granted, from Ronald Reagan – and you will see these platinum cards earning a smile from the Gipper. They might add up to the trifecta we’ve lost this past year in the deaths of Buckley, Snow and Friedman. We have a good bench of new players, Gipper – they only need lots of green or platinum colored mother’s milk.

MOO?

copyright 2009 Steve Finefrock

Finefrock is founder of Hollywood Forum, a speaker-bureau and panel-discussion vehicle to “Bring the Potomac to the Palisades” on issues that overlap politics and culture with the Hollywood film-TV influence on such national concerns. His scripts have addressed politics [including a TV series pilot/bible package about state political combat, called "A State of the Union"], hazardous materials [from twelve years in emergency management, including six years managing FEMA's Superfund curriculum for hazmat], terrorism, equestrian reincarnation, serial murderer killing journalists in the nation’s capitol, and fantasy about time-wasters. Finefrock is proprietor of PhoneBooth: The Smallest Space in Hollywood…

One response to “If I Were A Rich Donor: Mother’s Milk For ModCons

  1. Forget “conservatism,” please. It has been, operationally, de facto, Godless and therefore irrelevant. Secular conservatism will not defeat secular liberalism because to God both are two atheistic peas-in-a-pod and thus predestined to failure. As Stonewall Jackson’s Chief of Staff R.L. Dabney said of such a humanistic belief more than 100 years ago:

    “[Secular conservatism] is a party which never conserves anything. Its history has been that it demurs to each aggression of the progressive party, and aims to save its credit by a respectable amount of growling, but always acquiesces at last in the innovation. What was the resisted novelty of yesterday is today .one of the accepted principles of conservatism; it is now conservative only in affecting to resist the next innovation, which will tomorrow be forced upon its timidity and will be succeeded by some third revolution; to be denounced and then adopted in its turn. American conservatism is merely the shadow that follows Radicalism as it moves forward towards perdition. It remains behind it, but never retards it, and always advances near its leader. This pretended salt bath utterly lost its savor: wherewith shall it be salted? Its impotency is not hard, indeed, to explain. It is worthless because it is the conservatism of expediency only, and not of sturdy principle. It intends to risk nothing serious for the sake of the truth.”

    Our country is collapsing because we have turned our back on God (Psalm 9:17) and refused to kiss His Son (Psalm 2).

    John Lofton, Editor, TheAmericanView.com

    Recovering Republican

    JLof@aol.com

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